Caught Between Two Worlds

On the surface, one would think that I am merely referring to the fact that while my heart is in Central America, I am still residing in North America. While that is certainly true, there's more to this than meets the eye. 

For the past eleven years I have been Lead Pastor at the Radford Wesleyan Church. I love pastoring in this community more than words can tell and I love the people even more than that. This has been one of the most gut wrenching seasons of my life, choosing to leave behind those who have given everything to serve Jesus in the trenches right along with me. And so here I find myself, caught between the world of finishing well (June 1st) and having things adequately prepared for my successor and the world of being in the thick of Partnership Development (in order to make dream of ministering in Central America a reality). 

God has blessed Christy and I with four amazing sons (as you probably already know) who have literally become my newest heroes in how they are adapting and preparing for a life unlike anything they've ever known before. And here I find myself caught between the world of ensuring my kids have everything they need/want and are living life better than I lived and the world of asking my kids to be willing to "give it all up" for Jesus.

Who am I that God would call me to serve Him in another part of the world? I still don't have a good answer other than we were just willing to be obedient. And as I think about the stark difference between living life in America versus living life in Central America, I know in my heart that everything and every part of the process is all worth it because what we're about to do, will, if nothing else, make a difference for eternity. And yet here I find myself caught between the world of the temporal (the things here and now that Jesus says will not last) and the world of the eternal (that which Jesus says will last forever.

Maybe this blog post means I'm not qualified to be a missionary. Or perhaps it means that accepting appointment as a missionary doesn't automatically snuff the human-ness right out of you. Just maybe this process is more about the transformation of my spirit than the relocation of my house.

Are you felling "caught" these days? If so, I invite you to press in a little closer to Jesus with me saying, :Lord, whatever you need to do in me, do!"

Thanks for listening,

PB