Naked

There are many things I enjoy in life, but writing is not one of them. And here in language school (in Costa Rica), I seem to write almost every day in a new language.  This has made my desire to blog even less.  

If I had my way, I would be sitting at a coffee shop with you and chatting away.  As we sip our drinks, we would share how our kids are doing, when our summer vacations are planned for (and all those fun details), and all about the last date that our husbands took us on.  Eventually, if I feel safe enough, I may share what God is teaching me; the real, raw, and ugly lessons that God is presently teaching me.  

I am sure I would start off a little embarrassed and possibly apologize for the bluntness (and possibly the offensiveness) of what He's teaching me.  Depending on your reaction, it's quite possible that the next thing you might hear me say is, "God is teaching me the importance of being NAKED."

Yes, you read that correctly. God is teaching me the importance of being NAKED. 

I have spent the past ten months in a state of nakedness.  During these months my entire identity has been stripped away as I have had to learn/re-learn: how to grocery shop; how to cross the street; how to get out of my house and the surrounding bars quickly (if needed); and how to pay the electric bill (don't you also pay yours at the grocery store?).  

I have been thrown into a world where you meet a new person and become their best friend in 2 days, so that you can have a friend for the next 3 months, before you have to say goodbye and move to separate countries.  I spent years in the United States working on my bachelor's degree and then on my master's degree and years in becoming a professional educator, only to have those years lose their significance.  After all, who cares who you were before, when you sound like a two year old when you talk?  There have been times where I have been so sick and the muscles in my body were so weak, when I coughed I would wet myself (and not just a tinkle).  I have had to depend on doctors, nurses and medicine to help me breath on a daily basis.

Isn't life like that?  What once had significance, no longer does.  Businesses come and go.  People come into our lives, we love on them, share life with them, open our hearts to them and then circumstances happen and they are gone.  We find a ministry where we are using our gifts and talents.  We are encouraged and enjoying it and then something happens that completely changes the ministry.  Our health changes and we see that our bodies are weak.

It seems like I (and maybe you can relate) have spent the past 10 months trying to find significance; I have been searching for me.

A couple of weeks ago the Lord used the gifts of Ray Ortlund to speak into my empty heart.  Ray had us reflect on the following question:

"What kind of Christianity do broken people want to be a part of?"

We spent the week digging into:  Grace in Justification, Grace in Sanctification, Grace in Community, Grace in Weakness, and more.  As we dug into these deep concepts, Ray shared many simple truths.  One specific simple truth was that because of the cross of Jesus, God doesn't care about what we deserve. Christ suffered (like we deserve) so we could receive Heaven (what we don't deserve) and be in relationship with him.

As the truth of this sunk into my heart, my mind was on the cross.  I could see Jesus, with blood dripping down his face, his hands, his chest.  On the parts of his body where the skin was not ripped open, I could see bruises all over. I could see the hurt in his eyes; the betrayal of people who were his closest of friends.  I could see his nakedness; his body was left bare for the whole world to see. 

I immediately felt embarrassed for Jesus; humiliated for him. How horrible to be completely naked, bloody, beaten up and hanging on a cross, as a spectacle for all to see.

  I felt this way until the Lord reminded me of Adam and Eve in Genesis 2:25 where it says, "Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame."  Wow! I was created to be in relationship with others, completely "naked"; completely vulnerable and without shame.  When I am open and honest, allowing the real me to be seen, my faults are evident; my sins are written on the banner; my ugliness, my unfairness, my critical spirit, my fear of failure, my comparisons, my judgments are all there for the world to see.  And yet, Jesus' blood covers it all and so what the world really sees is Him.

Wow; I can stop covering up who I am!  I can be me.  I can repent; I can be honest; I can allow others to see the good, the bad and the ugly. I can trust that Jesus will redeem it all so that HE alone will be seen!

In my "nakedness" Christ will be seen.

Made Alive in Christ

Ephesians 2 (NIV)

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3 All of us also lived among them at one time,gratifying the cravings of our flesh[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. 4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7 in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace,expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

He (God) Still Parts the Waves

What a whirlwind the past week has been. We drove to Atlanta last Friday for Christy's weekend speaking engagement; from there the boys and I drove on to Mobile, AL. We reunited Sunday evening in Atlanta in order to fly out Monday morning (special kudos to Christy's dad and step mom for all they did to help us in that adventure). We arrived to Costa Rica around noon on Monday and haven't stopped since. Parent orientation for the boys started Tuesday morning and our own orientation has been the rest of this week. The boys start school Monday and us on Tuesday following one more day of orientation. Phew, are you tired yet?

In all of that, I wanted to share these words with you in the 30 minutes of internet time I have left (we still haven't been able to get it set up at the house and we have 2 more meetings coming up still today).

As you know, thanks to God and His people, we saw 44% of our budget raised in the final 41 (of 45) days that we were in Virginia. It previously had taken us over 16 months to raise the first 56%. There are many specific things e can point to as to why we believe it was finally God's timing for our family (and perhaps we will in a separate blog). For now, I just want to remind us all of this simple, Biblical truth - God still parts the waves.

If you're familiar with the Exodus story, you know the mighty miracle God performed for the Israelites as they fled the Egyptians. While I'm no Moses and we're not the Israelites, this is very much the same miracle we just witnessed in our own lives.

There we were, on the way to the Promised Land (our mission in Central America). All around us we were surrounded and hemmed in. In front of us were the finances (or lack thereof - only 56% July 7th). Behind us were the comforts/trappings of our former life beckoning us "home." To the left and right were the mountains of fear, doubt, and uncertainty. And in the midst of that storm and trial God uttered these words to our hearts, the very same ones he uttered to Moses, found in Exodus 14:14 -The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

Wow! The Lord will fight for us! We continued being faithful to the task before us, but all of a sudden the pressure to perform; the pressure to make our budget by August 24th had been broken from our shoulders. This was God's battle and His to perform. And boy, did he ever fight for us.

As I've already pointed out, you know the financial miracle he provided in order to ensure that I could be writing this right now from San Jose, Costa Rica as we're preparing for a year of language school to be followed by several more years in our field of service.

On that Tuesday evening (I think it was) when we knew we surpassed 100%, it was as if we had literally and finally crossed that sea on dry ground and as we turned around, the enemies we once saw we never saw again. It was as if, God split our financial sea, for us to cross and caused it to come crashing down on our fear and on our doubt and on our uncertainty; as well, never again would we return to our former life.

We're so excited to be here in Costa Rica. The transition has been an extremely steep learning curve. We have lots of stories already so just ask (Wi-Fi, taxi cab, Price Smart, etc). Yet, we'd have it no other way than to be here, directly where the Lord has placed us, exactly in His timetable. We're thankful for His continued provision and for your continued partnership and prayers!

Look forward to hearing more from us once we get this whole Wi-Fi thing figured out. Until then, know we're thinking of you and thankful for you!

We love you,
Barry

God's Perfect Timing

This is not exactly the blog I thought I'd be writing this evening, but sometimes life's events and circumstances have a way of forcing things upon you. Then again, maybe it's not so much about life as it is about God, using His ways, to get our attention.

This afternoon, while finishing off my lunch, I had a very peculiar and interesting thing happen to me. As I was taking the last bite of my sandwich (actually I was finishing Seth's), my top left front tooth fell out of my mouth. I know, "nasty, gross, thanks for sharing." Good thing I didn't share the picture with you, I guess.

Here's the interesting tidbit: we are presently 5 hours away from home on a Partnership Development trip. We've already shared time with two pastors this week and have one more visit tomorrow as well as to a church tomorrow evening. Perfect timing you say?

Actually, outside of the immediate "I can't believe this just happened" (although I've been somewhat expecting it for two years) and the occasional chuckle (of love I'm sure) from those closest to me, it's really not been that traumatic, painful, or emotional. It is definitely a God thing, but almost immediately God began to reveal how perfectly timed this incident really was. You see, although we're 5 hours from home right now, we will be home for 2 days at the end of this week where I will be seeing my dentist. Come Saturday, we are out of state (more than 14 hours at one point) for those next three weeks.

There have been some who have suggested that perhaps this was an attack of the devil since God has been moving so miraculously on our behalf these past couple of weeks (in relation to our family and Partnership Development). The more I processed that, the more I came to the conclusion that this was not an attack at all by anybody. I truly believe that God is using this incident as another sign that He is preparing to release our family to Central America on August 24th. In this regard, He is allowing me to receive the utmost dental care at a place I trust from a man who we hold in high esteem. Can you imagine if this would have happened five short weeks from now; who knows what kind of "emergency" dental care I could find.

God continues to reveal His prefect plan, set upon His perfect timing. There have been so many things lately that would indicate to us that God is "preparing the way." From our support level (number of monthly/recurring financial partners) jumping 17% in just over a week (now at 75% raised); to Barry III and Austin's amazing God encounters at Teen Camp two weeks ago (if you haven't seen the video of them sharing, check out Christy or my wall on Face Book from July 14th); to now this, we are convinced in our hearts, even though there is still a God-sized miracle in front of us, that God is preparing to release us for this next phase of the journey come August 24th (keep believing and praying with us).

I want to challenge you to look around in your life. What examples are there of God working out His perfect timing? You might have to take a second look (or bite) but it's there.

With love,
Barry