El Salvador or Bust

Do you believe that God still provides? Do you believe that He meets every need? Do you believe that He even gives you the desires of your heart? I am here to tell you, "He most certainly is that God!"

Back in September, I was invited by our esteemed District Superintendent, Rev. Greg Reynolds, to be part of an administrative trip he was leading to El Salvador, December 4-11. It would be a trip focused on encouraging the Wesleyan work in that country; intentional investing in our national leader there (Rev.'s Rene and Zoila Melendez) as well as the other pastoral families. There would be visiting of churches, teaching of lessons, preaching of sermons, and whatever else we could do to be a blessing.

I was stoked at the idea of visiting one of the countries that we will be working with once we get to Central America. The only problem - the cost. As Pastor Greg outlined the costs involved, my heart slowly sank little by little. I knew there was no way possible we could swing the money for me to go. So I gave the "pat" Christian answer - I'll pray about it - even though I knew it would never happen.

About six weeks later I received a phone call that demonstrated once again how God truly is the Great Provider; how when our desires our lined up with his desires, he removes the "im" from the word impossible. Long story short, 100% of my trip is being taken care of. How cool is God?!

Now for, as Paul Harvey would say, the rest of the story...

Given that none of us who are going are fluent in (or speak any) Spanish, there has always been an interpreter traveling with us. As God would have it, our traveling interpreter is none other than our Area Director, Jarvis Ferguson. That detail in itself only worked out in the past month. So now, not only do I get to be part of everything I've already mentioned, but I also get to be engaged in the work there with an toward future ministry and partnership. "What will theological training look like on the ground there?" "How can we mobilize disciples there to become missionaries themselves? "What are the goals of the national church as it relates to..."

It is most definitely a God-orchestrated trip for which I am most humbled and grateful! I have the most amazing family who I hate leaving behind (hopefully the next time I touch down on foreign soil we will all be departing the USA together). Yet they have sacrificially released me for such a time as this.

I would be honored if you would consider praying for the trip. I would also be grateful if you remembered in prayer the rest of the V-Team who will be stateside.

Lovingly and appreciatively,
Barry

Thankful for Cat Food

I'm not a big fan at all of cats, but today I'm awfully thankful for cat food. Want to know why? Keep on reading.

I intended to write a very different blog this week. It was going to be more of a "Part 2" to last week's blog. I was going to share how, in response to my vulnerability on that Sunday I shared about, God did some pretty awesome things in our life; some things that I was going to share thanks about in advance of our upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. In particular I was going to share, and maybe will in more detail at a later time, how God made it possible for me to be part of an upcoming mission trip to El Salvador by paying my way completely.

However, that all changed today as I had a flashback in, of all places, the pet food aisle of a local grocery store. As I watched my grandmother pick up (and subsequently throw down into the cart) two containers of cat food, my mind quickly tracked back in time to about 30 years ago. There I was, an nine year old boy, hurriedly pushing the grocery cart up and down the aisles of another local grocery store, trying to keep up with grandma as she meticulously eliminated items from her shopping list, one by one. The trip this day was a lot more slower paced and grandma, herself, pushed the cart as she leaned upon it for support. Instead of a buggy full of groceries, she had just a few items to cover the next few days. And, in a spirit of transparency, perhaps I should have come back from my memory a little sooner; perhaps then I would've been able to keep Grandma from running into that other shopper. Oops!

So, what am I thankful for this Thanksgiving? I'm thankful for another opportunity to go grocery shopping with my grandmother! (I know, who would've thought that the guy who hates everything to do with shopping would say that). Yet, at much as my thanks is related to this shopping experience, it's really about so much more. You see, my grandmother is truly my spiritual hero. She's the one, along with my grandfather, who showed me what it meant to live in relationship with Jesus and who subsequently introduced me to him. It was she who invested in me, day after day, month after month, and year after year. It was her persistent prayers that caused this rebellious teenager to turn his heart back toward Jesus. I could go on and on, but I think you get my point.

At 93 and counting, I don't know how many more Thanksgiving holidays my grandmother will get to celebrate this side of eternity. But I'm thankful she'll get to celebrate this one; and I'm even more thankful that I'll get to celebrate it with her.

Who are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? Be sure you let them know!

Humbled and thankful,
Barry

The Death of a Pastor

Blackness...Void...Depression...Grief...

Those words don't conjure up very nice and flowery images; and they're probably not the way one should start a blog, especially a blog dedicated to chronicling the adventures of a family who's called to serve Jesus overseas. However, to ignore those words is to deny their very existence in my life.

What if I told you that I died this year? Would you believe me? What if I told you that I died on June 1, 2014; would you believe me then? Obviously, I'm writing this blog so you know we're not talking about a physical death, but it was certainly a death nonetheless. June 1st was the day I died as a pastor. While I concede to your argument that since I'm still an ordained minister, I'm still a pastor, the reality is that for me, being a "pastor" is directly tied to serving in a "pastorate" and that all ended for me nearly 6 months ago now as I stepped away from local church ministry to follow Jesus, alongside my family, to another part of the world.

As excited as I was, and have continued to be, about this new journey, I was dying inside and the sad part is that I didn't even realize it. But with each passing day the clouds grew thicker and the storm raged louder and pretty soon there was nothing but black. I carried on with the everyday affairs of life; with getting my family ready and out the door every day; with serving at the boys' school; even with the daily and weekly grind of Partnership Development. Yet, little by little, my joy and exuberance for life were being stolen from right underneath my nose.

Why wasn't I more motivated? Why was I so emotionally distant? Why...why...why...I had lots of questions but very little answers. That all began to change one late October day as I received a letter and enclosed gift. It was given to me as a "little something" to express gratitude during Pastor Appreciation Month. And that's when I lost it. As much as my losing it was about what was written in that letter, it was about so much more. It was about the God of all the Universe, who cared enough about me, that he would use that letter to open my eyes to the reality that I had spent the past five months grieving a death, The story doesn't end there however...

We showed up to a church that next Sunday to once again share our story. My plan was to end our presentation the same way I had countless other times, by sharing out of John 21. Yet as soon as our worship encounter began, I knew God was prodding my spirit to do something different. For the next 30 minutes I went back and forth with God...I hadn't planned this particular text...I hadn't developed it as fully...is this more about me than the Church...As Christy and I began our presentation, I still wasn't convinced I had accurately perceived the Holy Spirit. While I spoke to the congregation, I didn't think much about it. But every time Christy stepped up to speak, I was consumed with which direction I was supposed to go. Finally it was crunch time; Christy stepped off the platform and I had a decision to make. By this point I knew God was directing me to speak out of this other text but would I be obedient was the question. As I hemmed and hawed for a few moments (that's when Christy snapped the above picture, knowing something was up), I just released the moment to God and began speaking from this other text...Acts 27:13-26.

If you're unfamiliar with this passage, this is the account where the apostle Paul got shipwrecked; although he was now a prisoner, he was on his way to bring the Good News of Jesus all the way to Caesar. While he knew in his heart that was his mission, I don't imagine he envisioned getting there in this capacity. As I started reading verse 20, my voice began to quake: "When neither sun nor stars appeared for many days and the storm continued raging, we finally gave up all hope of being saved." In a moment of transparency I began sharing my story; this journey of grief and depression that for so long had entrapped me and to which I wasn't even aware.

And then we came to verses 22-24: "But now I urge you to keep up your courage, because not one of you will be lost; only the ship will be destroyed. Last night, an angel of the God to whom belong and whom I serve stood beside me and said, 'Do not be afraid Paul. You must stand trial before Caesar; and God has graciously given you the lives of all who sail with you.'"

Did you catch what God was saying to Paul? This storm and looming catastrophe will not take you out! You are on a mission from me and together we will make it there.

And what God did in those next few moments was truly miraculous and benevolent! In my vulnerability and brokenness and transparency, God brought about his mighty hand of deliverance. In those moments I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that God had just set me free from the bondage and shackles of depression that was associated with my grief. In a split second he turned my mourning into joy! And all across that sanctuary there were others being freed as well.

I realize now that death, my death, had to happen. And the promise of scripture is that death, in Christ, is the gateway to life. In death, there is resurrection and that is the hope I have. If you noticed the tombstone, it has the word "HOPE" etched on it. I am filled with the hope of not only my salvation, but of the fact that dying to the pastorate will (and has) bring life to our mission to Central America.

Thanks for your prayers; thanks for carrying me through this most difficult season that perhaps, you like me, didn't even realize I was on. You are most loved and greatly appreciated!

Barry

$4.80 Repentance

We were recently on the road again, this time to WV (State slogan – “Wild and Wonderful”). Little did I know upon our embarking that the first part of our trip would be more wild than wonderful. It all began with a quick stop-off for breakfast; upon leaving the restaurant, my coffee went from being carefully contained within its Styrofoam container to being bumped and thus freely flowing down my arm. Fortunately for me, I was wearing a light coat and so I ripped off the now wet and stained garment, threw it in the back of the vehicle and subsequently slammed the trunk closed. Words were then shared (mostly loud and one-directional) and then we were off again.

Life was “good” for the next 17 miles…until I realized we were quickly approaching the first of three toll booths along our route. At $2 per toll, 6 booths round-trip, that’s $12 total. While a bit aggressive on the fee, it’s alright because I have my trusty EZ-Pass automatic toll transponder stuck to my windshield. Oh wait, that’s right I don’t have that transponder after all. Months back it fell off its adhesive strip, and so when I decided to take my more fuel efficient vehicle on a previous trip to Michigan, I brought along the transponder just in case I needed it and of course forgot to put it back in the present vehicle. That’s okay, we have cash; NOT, who carries cash with them anymore? What in the world are we going to do?

As we near the toll booth I realize I do have $4 in my wallet, but that won’t be enough to clear all the tolls. Perhaps they take credit cards; in case you’re wondering for future reference that would be a NO! “We only take cash, sir, but don’t worry, you can do a no-pay and we’ll send you a bill along with a $5 surcharge per toll.” Are you kidding me? My $12 in tolls just went to $42? I decide to just pay $2 here and then find an ATM at one of the travel stops along the way. At this point you can only imagine how grace-filled my exit from the toll booth was! And now for the icing on the cake…I had put my wallet on the dash to more easily manipulate the opening and closing of it at the toll booth. Now, as I went to return the rejected credit card to its rightful place within the left tri-fold of the wallet, the entire contents of my wallet spilled out between my seat and the center console. With a gentle (or not-so-gentle as you’ve probably picked up on) toss, I heaved my lifeless wallet to the floorboard in front of me.

At that moment I began having a pity party and the only person invited was me. “Are you kidding me Lord? Here we are trying to share Your story with Your church and look at this morning. First my coffee; then the toll booths; now the wallet. Don’t you care?” God remained silent for a long time; at least I couldn’t hear him for a while. About 2 miles before I was supposed to pull off at the next travel stop (to get cash out of the ATM for the remaining tolls) I sensed the Holy Spirit beckoning me to look at the GPS and rethink our route. (HINT: this is where God’s humor and provision come in) As I look at the GPS, telling me I’m getting off the toll road in 5 miles, I quickly realize (because we travel this way often) that the other two toll booths are beyond my exit. Sure enough, as we got off Exit 48 we paid a measly $0.40 toll, which Christy had in her purse.

“Wait a minute Lord…are you telling me that even though I forgot the EZ-Pass and even though I only had $4 in cash (and I don’t usually have any), you’ve made it be enough?” I have to tell you, there was plenty of repentance and forgiveness-asking going on in that car. First and foremost, to my Lord and Savior and to my Great Provider. Secondly, to my wife who took the brunt of my frustration. Lastly, to my boys who had been left a terrible example of how to respond to adversity.

If you’ve ever wondered if your prayers for us make a difference, let this past Sunday be case-in-point that they most definitely do. It was your prayers that brought me to repentance over $4.80. It was your prayers that helped me battle back against the enemy. It was your prayers that saved the morning and the day for the Kingdom of God and for what God wanted to accomplish in our hearts and in the hearts of the folks we shared with. Thanks for your continued prayers for the V-Team; prayers that we (particularly I) would respond more healthily and God-honoring during adversity.

Grateful for you,
Barry

"Faith of a Mustard Seed"

Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20

This verse seems to get spouted quite often when telling someone to “just have faith.” Yet, I think there’s something even more powerful going on here. The context of this passage is that Peter, James and John have just gone up the mountain with Jesus and there they got to behold the glory and awesomeness of Jesus, the Son of God. At some point after coming down the mountain, a man brings his son to them in order for them to cast out the demon and they are unable to do so.

How often are we (speaking to myself) just like these disciples? As soon as we “come down from the mountain”, we too forget about the awesomeness and power of our God. Yet, how incredible, that our God is the same God on the top of the mountain as He is in the bottom of the valley!

If I’m (Barry) being honest with you, we are facing an incredible mountain in our lives. We believe it is part of God’s plan for us to be in Central America this January. However, in order for that to happen, we must be 100% funded. We are presently right at 22% (my apologies for unknowingly misrepresenting that number previously). We have certainly been witness to the glory and awesomeness of Jesus in our lives these past 9 months since we were appointed as missionaries. However, the enemy is trying to use this mountain (this financial hurdle) to bring doubt into our life and to distract us from the goal ahead. Yet we are choosing, by faith, to say to this mountain, “Move from here” and we believe that God wants to use you to help move this mountain.

While 100% funded by the end of the year is our ultimate goal, our immediate goal is 50% by the end of September. Ultimately, that is an additional $3,200 per month. How does that break down? If 32 people each committed $100 per month, or if 64 people each committed $50 per month, or even if 128 people committed $25 per month, we would reach our goal. Are you able to commit to one of those levels; maybe more, maybe less? Regardless of what you can commit, every commitment helps release us for God’s “Next” for our family!

Some of you who just read this are already monthly financial partners (46 total) and we say, “Thank you!” Others of you (360 total) have already signed up to be on the Team, just not as a monthly financial partner and we thank God for you as well. Would you be willing to make a monthly commitment and become a financial partner as well? Still, for others of you who have read this, we haven’t even had the opportunity yet to talk to you directly about being part of the Team, but yet we present to you the same opportunity.

To make that monthly commitment, just click this link http://www.wesleyan.org/gp/minfo/WM04-0393 and it will take you directly to our page on the Global Partners website. Once there, just click "FAITH" (under our picture) and a new page will open up where you can register your commitment.

Thanks in advance for being part of the blasting crew in removing this part of the mountain!